Remember Valentine’s Day in elementary school? All you really wanted was a piece of crappy chocolate taped to the flimsy Looney Tunes or Lisa Frank card you got? Instead (horror of horrors!) you get Sweethearts. UGH! Who gives Sweethearts!? If I wanted to eat colored chalk I’d just run up to the blackboard and eat the teacher’s generic brand of sedimentary rock! Worst Valentine’s Day EVARR.

(I’m looking at you, girl who sat in front of me in second grade whose name I can’t remember.)



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