You may have noticed that it’s not Tuesday.
Doesn’t have the same ring.
I was pretty busy yesterday, running here and there and doing things like voting. Oh, right, there was that election thing yesterday. Woo!
WE ARE BOTH SO INTENSE TAKE US SRSLY.
So lemme ask ya this:
Ever heard of Election cake? Now ya have.
The history of Rocky Road ice cream seems to be, well, rocky.
[hangs head in shame]
That was a horrible joke.
What I mean is, there really isn’t any fact to back it up. It centers around two stories told by two different companies that are unable to provide any definitive sources.
That’s cool. I ain’t mad at cha.
I chose not to include the video because he says bad words in the lyrics. That’s bad.
To quote Albus Dumbledore, greatest headmaster Hogwarts has ever known, “From this point forth, we shall be leaving the firm foundation of fact and journeying together through the murky marshes of memory into thickets of wildest guesswork.” (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Duh.)
The best Dumbledore.
First, let’s talk a little about ice cream during the Great Depression.
Remember Valentine’s Day in elementary school? All you really wanted was a piece of crappy chocolate taped to the flimsy Looney Tunes or Lisa Frank card you got? Instead (horror of horrors!) you get Sweethearts. UGH! Who gives Sweethearts!? If I wanted to eat colored chalk I’d just run up to the blackboard and eat the teacher’s generic brand of sedimentary rock! Worst Valentine’s Day EVARR.
(I’m looking at you, girl who sat in front of me in second grade whose name I can’t remember.)
We all know how it goes. Leave cookies out for Santa, go to sleep, Santa eats cookies, get presents.
There BETTER be an Easy Bake Oven in that bag.
It’s a sure-fire way to make sure your parents get – I MEAN Santa stays fat.
Santa would never go on a diet.
Onward and downward, my friends.
Like southward downward.
Today let’s take a peek at a Filipino Christmas custom, two desserts called bibingka and puto bumbong.
Puto Bumbong (left) and Bibingka (right).
Everyone knows sugarplums. They’re those little….err…what are they? They’re like…plums rolled in sugar?
Or fairies, right? They’re fairies that rule the Land of Sweets and do ballet during Christmas……….
IT’S A TINY SUGAR-PLUM FAIRY!!
Modern sugarplum. I’ll tell you later.
Believe it or not, I have another fruitcake type food item to tell you about.
Seriously, fruit was like the most coveted Christmas item way back when.
This is my most coveted Christmas fruit.
Stollen is a German specialty eaten at Christmas that’s related to panettone, fruitcake, King cake, babka, and dreikonigsbrot. All these cakes were developed in medieval times and were reserved for the holidays because they were expensive to make. The most common and most famous stollen are from Dresden, Germany.
I love gingerbread. I love the cookie kind, the cakey kind, and everything in between. When I went to sleep away camp my favorite dessert was gingerbread cake slopped with whipped cream. It was the best day of the week.
Ours didn't look this good.
When you think about gingerbread at Christmas, the first thing that probably comes to mind is the flat, crisp cookie that’s made into men whose heads you bite off before destroying their gingerbread homes with your mouth. Of course, there’s still the cake kind, but that’s more of a year round dessert. Both kinds share a common origin that goes way back. And no, gingerbread was not always a Christmas food.
Medieval gingerbread decorated with cloves.
You will all be happy to know that I survived the Christmas office party. But only barely.
I don’t wanna talk about it.
I was traumatized like this child. He may or may not be Donald Sutherland. I have been unable to confirm.
As I’m writing these posts, I’m seeing a trend:
I hate many of these traditional items.
Hey! Harvey's back!!
But that’s probably because I’ve only ever tried the commercialized versions. For example, eggnog. I hate eggnog. I think it’s thick and goopy and disgustingly sweet. I’ve only tried the commercialized kind so perhaps that’s why.
Wait. Silk Nog??? NOOOOOOO!
Eggnog (or egg nog, whichever one you prefer) is a thick, rich holiday drink made from beaten eggs, spices, cream, sugar, and alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol.
It looks like a glass of whipped yolk.
As you should all know by now, I’ve got a British mum. My British mum makes a fantastic Christmas dinner, but she always does this one thing after dinner that seems strange to me.
My mom is nothing like Mrs. Weasley.
She pulls out a store-bought Christmas pudding from the cupboard next to the fridge and eats some of it with a spoon while standing up.
That just doesn't look good.
I think that whole standing up part comes from how judgmental we are when she eats her Christmas pudding. She’d probably rather not eat it at the table while we eat whatever chocolaty dessert there is and stare at her blankly. If I’m being honest, I don’t think I’ve ever tried a Christmas pudding, but there’s this part of me that hates it instinctively. It looks like fruitcake, only round. Clearly, I am in the right.
Because everything I say is right.
At this moment in time, I can neither confirm nor deny that Christmas pudding is total ickiness. I’ll have the opportunity come Christmas Day dinner when my mom pulls out her pud to nibble on. Until then, I’ll content myself with telling you the extensive story of Christmas pudding.